


A Slightly Superior Smile

by ladadadi



Category: f(x)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 20:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4318632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladadadi/pseuds/ladadadi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The truth is, it's not really a surprise when Sunyoung snaps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Slightly Superior Smile

**Author's Note:**

> my SINCEREST apologies to team canon for disappearing halfway through this challenge! i got a new job in the middle of the writing period and was so busy i barely remembered to turn this in on time lol :( but congratulations to everyone who participated (and extra congrats to us for winning)!
> 
> based on [manyo maash](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2sMLUyoNfY) by puer kim  
> [title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8KWZ6uGeks)  
> [lj post](https://ladadadi.livejournal.com/17068.html)

The truth is, Sunyoung isn't half as naïve as everyone seems to think she is. It's not that she _isn't_ kind and and sweet and generous, but Sunyoung has her sharp, cruel edges just like everyone else. Soojung's seen her lips purse when Amber flits from group to group instead of staying with her own, the forced smile on her face when Jinri's voice cracks again. Sunyoung's the most likely to go solo of all of them, and it's not just because of her talent.

The truth is, it's not really a surprise when Sunyoung snaps.

\--

It's probably Soojung's fault. Or definitely Soojung's fault. Sunyoung's never been good at hiding her emotions and Soojung's always been good at pushing her buttons, so when Sunyoung stops talking to Jinri it's barely 48 hours before Soojung calls her on it. She presses the subject until Sunyoung's eyes narrow and her mouth goes tight and pinched. Victoria leaves the room without a word, too drained to referee, and the lines of Amber's shoulders tense. Sunyoung's limbs draw in like she's coiling herself up to pounce, and Soojung leans in, provoking her, giving her a target. She'll play the bitch if it takes Sunyoung's attention off Jinri slinking out after Victoria—she's going through enough shit already without having to deal with Sunyoung's venom. 

The worst part is that Soojung doesn't entirely disagree with Sunyoung. Choiza _is_ kind of a dick, and Jinri _did_ kind of fuck them over just when they were finally building momentum. It's not like Soojung blames her for wanting a boyfriend but, Jesus, could she have picked a worse time? "He's fourteen years older than her," Sunyoung says, "we barely even know him!"

"Guys, don't—" Amber starts, but her voice peters out when Soojung scoffs. "Maybe you should try actually being happy for someone else for once," she shoots back, and Sunyoung's face goes red. It's more vicious than she really deserves, but the real difference between them is that Soojung doesn't give a shit about making people think she's nicer than she is. Sunyoung refuses to back down, though, just stares fiercely at her until Amber lets out a loud sigh and stands. "I'm going to bed," she says. "I think you guys should do the same."

They break eye contact but neither of them move, even though Soojung knows that Sunyoung must be as exhausted as she is. She scrolls through her phone and pretends to text until her eyelids start drooping, and when she wakes up with her cheek smushed against the dining room table Sunyoung is still across from her, curled up in her chair. She looks small and fragile, suddenly. Soojung places a blanket over her shoulders on the way to Jinri's bed.

\--

Victoria's pillow smells like shampoo and old makeup. It's comforting, reminds Soojung of resting her head on Victoria's shoulder. She's been gone for a week, filming shows in China, and the dorm feels empty without her there. If Soojung's being honest, it's felt empty a lot longer than that.

The bedroom door clicks open, and the mattress dips a moment later. Jinri's skin is soft against Soojung's, her chin fitting neatly into the bend of Soojung's neck. _Don't be like this_ , she doesn't say—doesn't have to say. They both know what the stiffness in Soojung's spine means.

Jinri lays there for a few minutes, then rolls over and climbs out of bed just as abruptly as she'd gotten in. Soojung stares resolutely up at the bottom of Sunyoung's mattress until the door clicks shut again. "It's not her fault," she says into the silent room, and the bed frame shivers when Sunyoung shifts above her. "It's not her fault," she says again, insistently. Desperately.

"Yeah," Sunyoung's voice floats down, "but it's not ours either."

\--

Soojung looks in the mirror and sees Krystal, unnatural blue eyes and long blonde hair. Her jacket is hung neatly on the rack, but only because she knows she'd get in trouble if she threw it on the floor like she wants to. It had been too tight to be comfortable, but she had thought the knot in her stomach would unravel once she took it off.

It was too easy.

It was too easy, not having Jinri there. She had known that taking over Jinri's lines would be simple enough—that was never in question. There were no formations in this song that _required_ five people, so that had been a quick adjustment too. They'd hit every single one of their marks, they'd won the stupid plastic trophy, and _it was too easy_. No one speaks in their section of the dressing room, the weight of that knowledge stifling any thought of conversation. Even Amber sits quietly in her chair, for once staying with her own group. 

Soojung looks in the mirror and sees herself, eyes red from the contacts and hair brittle with bleach. Soojung looks at Amber and sees resilience and ambition, the stubborn drive to make it no matter what shit gets thrown her way. Soojung looks at Victoria and sees Song Qian, the furthest from home and still the happiest of them all. Soojung looks at Sunyoung and sees exhaustion, the slow leech of optimism and the worry lines around her eyes where the Botox is wearing off.

It's three days before Soojung sees Jinri.

\--

Victoria brings home a bottle of cheap red wine and Soojung gets too tipsy too fast. Amber only has a few sips before she leaves to meet somebody somewhere—Soojung's stopped trying to keep track of her friends—and Victoria takes her glass into her room, leaving Soojung and Sunyoung alone. The lack of tension in the room is nearly as jarring as its presence had been, and they sit in a silence that is familiar, if not yet friendly. Sunyoung's cheeks are flushed but she accepts Soojung's offer of another drink. The neck of her shirt gapes open when she leans forward to hold her glass steady for the pour, and Soojung looks because she's drunk and allowed. Not that there's much to see.

"I'm sorry," Sunyoung says half an hour later, both of them sprawled on the floor next to the empty wine bottle. "For. You know. Everything."

"Yeah," Soojung says, "me too." After a minute she adds, "You were right, though. It was a shitty thing to do."

Sunyoung lets out a sharp bark of a laugh. "It was, wasn't it." Soojung rolls her eyes out of habit, but she's grinning. "I really am happy for her," Sunyoung continues, "it was just, you know, it was bad timing."

"We should take advantage of the break and find ourselves some boyfriends," Soojung jokes. "Can't let Jinri have all the fun, right?"

Sunyoung's hand finds Soojung's and her fingers unfurl tentatively, like a peace offering. Soojung weaves them together until Sunyoung's fingertips rest lightly on her knuckles and their palms are pressed together. They don't speak again until morning.


End file.
